226 days to go

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
     —Aboard Air Force One; June 4, 2003

I just do what Dick tells me to do.

227 days to go

"I think we agree, the past is over."
     —As quoted by The Dallas Morning News; May 10, 2000

228 days to go

"He's kind of a—probably feeling his oats pretty good about that time."
     —Describing the moment when Rabbi Mark Borovitz met his wife, Harriet; Faith-Based and Community Incentives Conference; Los Angeles, CA; March 3, 2004

Aaawww yeeaahhh, feelin' the oats of the best part about it!!

229 days to go

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say 'I love you.'"
     —Washington, D.C.; September 19, 2002

230 days to go

"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from."
     —Detriot, MI; September 7, 2000

If you're going to win, you're a challenger, but only if you come from the pack...

231 days to go

"A submarine could take this place out."
     —Surveying the Arkansas River while visiting the Clinton Presidential Center, as quoted in The Guardian; Little Rock, AR; November 18, 2004

Hmmm, a little foreshadowing??

232 days to go

"As you can possibly see, I have an injury myself—not here at the hospital, but in combat with a cedar. I eventually won. The cedar gave me a little scratch."
     —After visiting with wounded veterans from the Amputee Care Center of Brooke Army Medical Center; San Antonio, TX; January 1, 2006

I bet the vets really appreciated that story...

233 days to go

"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed by the atmosphere. And they say 'Man, you're looking pretty.'"
     —Washington, D.C.; November 4, 2004

Again, what the hell is he talking about??

234 days to go

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
     —As quoted by Reuters; May 5, 2000

As scary as it is, this is the method of reasoning that got us into the mess we're in now.

235 days to go

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that differences is they pass the laws and I execute them."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2000

I execute 'em.

236 days to go

"The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small-business owner or a large-business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war."
     —Springfield, MO; February 9, 2004

War, it's a m-effer.

237 days to go

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
     —Washington, D.C.; October 28, 2003

The truth comes out again. President Bush wants to kill all the Iraqis who want to live in a free world.

238 days to go

"If you're a younger person, you ought to be asking members of Congress and the United States Senate and the president what you intend to do about it. If you see a train wreck coming, you ought to be saying 'What are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or Madam Congressman?'"
     —Detroit, MI; February 8, 2005

239 days to go

"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house—he's lost his entire house—there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."
     —Mobile, AL; September 2, 2005

240 days to go

"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."
     —St. Louis, MO; October 18, 2000

241 days to go

Bush: I talked to my little brother, Jeb—I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of—I shouldn't call him my little brother—my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas.
Jim Lehrer: Florida.
Bush: Florida. The state of Florida.
     —Appearing on The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer; April 27, 2000

Simply amazing that this moron was selected President...

242 days to go

"If he's—the inferences is that somehow he thinks slavery is a, is a noble institution—I would—I would strongly reject that assumption. That John Ashcroft is an open-minded, inclusive person."
     —Interview with Tom Brokaw; NBC Nightly News; January 15, 2001

243 days to go

"The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them."
     —From A Charge to Keep, by George W. Bush, published November 1999

Months?? Really.

244 days to go

"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."
     —On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, CT; June 9, 2000

245 days to go

"The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it."
     —Expressing hope that the probe into how CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity was leaked will yield answers; Washington, D.C.; July 18, 2005

Git 'er done.

246 days to go

"We can come together to heal whatever wounds may exist, whatever residuals there may be."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2000

247 days to go

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
     —Austin, TX; December 20, 2000

Hemispheric and atmospheric are all really the same. Aren't they?? Duh.

248 days to go

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
     —Announcing the "Reading First" initiative; Reston, VA; March 28, 2000

Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic.

249 days to go

"That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental—supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel."
     —Erie, PA; September 2, 2004

Deftly displaying his understanding of war.

250 days to go

"I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go—you know—I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say."
     —Explaining that he hasn't yet seen Brokeback Mountain; Manhattan, KS; January 23, 2006

The evasive answer is either a confirmation that Dubya has in fact seen the movie or that he is truly an idiot.

251 days to go

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
     —Orlando, FL; September 12, 2000

Somebody has been dipping into the Rx bottle...

252 days to go

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
     —Speaking about terrorists; Portsmouth, NH; November 1, 2002

253 days to go

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again."
     —Waco, TX; August 13, 2002

Let's do those tough times again!

254 days to go

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the—in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."
     —Crawford, TX; August 13, 2001

Finally, a glimpse of the truth.

255 days to go

"Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads."
     —Fund-raising letter from George W. Bush; as quoted in The Washington Post; March 24, 2000

He didn't just think it, he wrote it down!

256 days to go

"This is a nation that loves our freedom, loves our country."
     —Washington, D.C.; May 17, 2002

257 days to go

"If you found somebody that had information about an attack on America, you'd want to know as best as we can to find out what the facts are."
     —Philadelphia, PA; December 12, 2005

258 days to go

"I think he needs to stand up and say if he thought the president were wrong on policy and issues, he ought to say where."
     —Interview with The Associated Press; August 11, 2000

259 days to go

"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
     —Referring to the wife of Colin Powell; Washington, D.C.; January 30, 2003

That's alright, Barbara Bush was often referred to as the mother of Bush 41.

260 days to go

"They can get in line like those who have been here legally and have been working to become a citizenship in a legal manner."
     —Referring to immigrant workers; Washington, D.C.; December 20, 2004

¿Qué dijo?

261 days to go

"Bit if you've been laid off work, you're 100 percent unemployed, and I worry about it."
     —Green Bay, WI; September 3, 2001

Whew, I'm glad we've got Dubya on the job! If he's worrying about it, then something is gettin' done.

262 days to go

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have—he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
     —Florence, SC; February 17, 2000

OK...

263 days to go

"But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future."
     —Washington, D.C.; April 28, 2005

264 days to go

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked."
     —Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire; The New York Times; October 23, 1999

I too prefer my martinis shaken.

265 days to go

"The point now is how do we work together to achieve important goals. And one such goal is a democracy in Germany."
     —Washington, D.C.; May 5, 2006

Breaking news: Dubya thinks Germany is still communist.

266 days to go

"How do you know if you don't measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
     —Explaining the need for educational accountability; Beaufort, SC; February 16, 2000

Is he talking about measuring the system or measuring the amount of suckling?!?

267 days to go

"It means your own money would grow better than that which the government can make it grow. And that's important."
     —On what private accounts could do for Social Security funds; Falls Church, VA; April 29, 2005

268 days to go

"[I]t's a myth to think I don't know what's going on. It's a myth to think that I'm not aware that there's opinions that don't agree with mine, because I'm fully aware of that."
     —Philadelphia, PA; December 12, 2005

Does he know that we know that he knows if every thinks he's stupid?

269 days to go

"Really proud of it. A great campaign. And I'm really pleased with the organization and the thousands of South Carolinians that worked on my behalf. And I'm very gracious and humbled."
     —Appearing on ABC's This Week; February 20, 2000

Modest too.

270 days to go

"I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep on the soil of a friend."
     —On the prospect of visiting Denmark; Washington, D.C.; June 29, 2005

:)

271 days to go

"The way I like to put it is this. There's no bigger issue for the president to remind the moms and dads of America, if you happen to have a child, be fortunate to have a child."
     —Washington, D.C.; March 7, 2001

272 days to go

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read—I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do."
     —Discussing abortion on MSNBC's Hardball with Chris Matthews; May 31, 2000

Even Chris Matthews has to commend Dubya on this crafty response to dodging the question.

273 days to go

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
     —In response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate; Reynoldsburg, OH; October 4, 2000

This single quote pretty much sums it ALL up.

274 days to go

"I understand small-business growth. I was one."
     —New York Daily News; February 19, 2000

I Am America (And So Can You!)

275 days to go

"I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome."
     —On the reception of American forces in Iraq; Philadephia, PA; December 12, 2005

Yes, I've often been welcomed by strangers with gun fire and road-side bombs.

276 days to go

"I don't want to win? If that were the case why the heck am I on the bus sixteen hours a day, shaking thousands of hands, giving hundreds of speeches, getting pillared in the press and cartoons and still staying on message to win?"
     —As quoted by Newsweek; February 28, 2000

277 days to go

"I was going to say he's a piece of work, but that might not translate too well. Is that all right, if I call you a 'piece of work'?"
     —To Jean-Claude Juncker, prime minister of Luxembourg; Washington, D.C.; June 20, 2005

Sure, as long as I can call you a piece of shit.

278 days to go

"God loves you, and I love you. And you can count on both of us as a powerful message that people who wonder about their future can hear."
     —Los Angeles, CA; March 3, 2004

279 days to go

"I've changed my style somewhat, as you know. I'm less—I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I'm more interacting with people."
     —Meet the Press; February 13, 2000

280 days to go

"We got people working all their life at hard work, contributing by payroll taxes into a Social Security system."
     —Washington, D.C.; May 13, 2005

281 days to go

"You might want to comment on that, Honorable."
     —To New Jersey secretary of state, the Honorable DeForest B. Soaries, Jr.; as quoted by Dana Milbank in The Washington Post; July 15, 2000

282 days to go

"[T]he best way to find these terrorists who hide in holes is to get people coming forth to describe the location of the hole, is to give clues and data."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 15, 2003

Bush can't find the hole...

283 days to go

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
     —Hilton Head Island, SC; February 16, 2000

At least Bush admits his campaign had no principles.

284 days to go

"As governor of Texas, I have set high standards for our public schools, and I have met those standards."
     —CNN online chat; August 30, 2000

I really, really doubt that.

285 days to go

"I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what's moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves."
     —Washington, D.C.; September 21, 2003

286 days to go

"I'm confident we can work with Congress to come up with an economic stimulus package that will send a clear signal to the risk-takers and capital formators of our country."
     —Washington, D.C.; September 17, 2001

287 days to go

"There are some monuments where the land is so wide-spread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the—the precious part, so to speak—I guess all land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment."
     —Media round table; Washington, D.C.; March 13, 2001

I've read this many times, but can't really figure out WTF Bush is trying to say.

288 days to go

"We've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."
     —Chicago, IL; September 30, 2003

289 days to go

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
     —As quoted in U.S. News & World Report; April 3, 2000

Don't misunderestimate me.

290 days to go

"We ought to make the pie higher."
     —South Carolina Republican debate; Columbia, SC; February 15, 2000

What a piehole.

291 days to go

"I mean, there was a serious international effort to say to Saddam Hussein, 'You're a threat.' And the 9/11 attacks extenuated that threat, as far as I—concerned."
     —Philadelphia, PA; December 12, 2005

292 days to go

"Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history—revisionist historians is what I like to call them."
     —Elizabeth, NJ; June 16, 2003

293 days to go

"I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race."
     —Describing a phone call to Senator John Breaux; Crawford, TX; December 2, 2000

294 days to go

"I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging."
     —At the dedication of his portrait; Austin, TX; January 4, 2002

Oh, if only it were true.

295 days to go

Bush: "Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?"
Wallsten: "I can take them off."
Bush: "I'm interested in the shade look, seriously."
Wallsten: "All right, I'll keep it, then."
Bush: "For the viewers, there's no sun."
Wallsten: "I guess it depends on your perspective."
Bush: "Touché."

     —Exchange with the legally blind Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Wallsten, to whom Bush later apologized; Washington, D.C.; June 14, 2006

I'm sure Bush only apologized at the urging of his staff...what an ass.

296 days to go

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have now conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat."
     —Washington, D.C.; September 17, 2004

297 days to go

"I do not agree with this notion that somehow if I go to try to attract votes and to lead people toward a better tomorrow somehow I get subscribed to some—some doctrine gets subscribed to me."
     —Appearing on Meet the Press; February 13, 2000

298 days to go

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
     —Los Angeles, CA; February 23, 2000

299 days to go

"It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term."
     —St. Louis, MO; October 18, 2000

300 days to go

"I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one."
     —Stumping for Governor Mike Huckabee; Bentonville; AR; November 4, 2002

Da guv'ment.

301 days to go

"This has been tough weeks in that country."
     —Washington, D.C.; April 13, 2004

302 days to go

"He has certainly earned a reputation as a fantastic mayor, because the results speak for themselves. I mean, New York's a safer place for him to be."
     —Discussing Rudy Giuliani on The Edge with Paula Zahn; May 18, 2000

303 days to go

"I'm hoeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."
     —Interview with The Associated Press; January 18, 2001

I'm trying to succeed in life built on various small-scale failures.

304 days to go

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
     —Nashua, NH; as quoted by Gail Collins in The New York Times; February 1, 2000

I'm all for knockin' shit down...

305 days to go

"The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race."
     —Washington, D.C.; April 5, 2001

Rates, not race.

306 days to go

"I didn't join the International Criminal Court because I don't want to put our troops in the hands of prosecutors from other nations. Look, if somebody has done some wrong in our military, we'll take care of it. We got plenty of capability of dealing with justice."
     —Niceville, FL; August 10, 2004

I think the proper term is "We gots justice."

307 days to go

"Well, we've made the decision to defeat the terrorists abroad so we don't have to face them here at home. And when you engage the terrorists abroad, it causes activity and action."
     —Washington, D.C.; April 28, 2005

308 days to go

"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun."
     —St. Louis, MO; October 18, 2000

He said should, not will.

309 days to go

"See, without the tax relief package, there would have been a deficit, but there wouldn't have been the commiserate—not 'commiserate'—the kick to our economy that occurred as a result of the tax relief."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 15, 2003

310 days to go

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda."
     —Greece, NY; May 24, 2005

Repetition is the key to re-education.

311 days to go

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It's what you do when you run for president. you gotta preserve."
     —Speaking during "Perseverance Month" at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, NH; as quoted in the Los Angeles Times; January 28, 2000

You gotsta preserve—uh, I mean, persevere!

312 days to go

"I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better."
     —Concord Middle School; Concord, NC; April 11, 2001

313 days to go

"One of the most meaningful things that's happened to me since I've been the governor—the president—governor—president. Oops. Ex-governor. I went to Bethesda Naval Hospital to give a fellow a Purple Heart, and at the same moment I watched him—get a Purple Heart for action in Iraq—and at that same—right after I gave him the Purple Heart, he was sworn in as a citizen of the United States—a Mexican citizen, now a United States citizen."
     —Washington, D.C.; January 9, 2004

No, those aren't typos.

314 days to go

"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so?...How did you feel when you stodd up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it?"
     —Interview with The Washington Post; March 9, 2001

315 days to go

"Any time we've got any kind of inkling that somebody is thinking about doing something to an American and something to our homelandl you've got to know we've moving on it, to protect the United Nations Constitution, and at the same time, we're protecting you."
     —Aberdeen, SD; October 31, 2002

Here he goes again with that damn United Nations Constitution...

316 days to go

"My plan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt."
     —Budget address to Congress; February 27, 2001

317 days to go

"See, free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction."
     —Milwaukee, WI; October 3, 2003

Except, of course, for the United States and every other "free" country with nuclear weapons...

318 days to go

"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position."
     —As quoted by Molly Ivins in the San Francisco Chronicle; January 21, 2000

This is a great example of President Bush using big words :)

319 days to go

"He was a state sponsor of terror. In other words, the government had declared, 'You are a state sponsor of terror.'"
     —On Saddam Hussein; Manhattan, KS; January 23, 2006

320 days to go

"Do you have blacks, too?"
     —To Brazilian president Fernando Henrique Cardoso; Washington, D.C.; November 8, 2001

321 days to go

"He understands the need for a timely write of the constitution."
     —Our interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi of Iraq; Washington, D.C.; April 28, 2005

322 days to go

"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We've blessed with such values in America. And I—it's—I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values."
     —Visiting the Jefferson Memorial; Washington D.C.; July 2, 2001

323 days to go

"After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week—we will have an all-volunteer army. Let me restate that."
     —Daytona Beach, FL; October 16, 2004

324 days to go

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
     —As quoted by the Los Angeles Times; Los Angeles, CA; April 8, 2000

Well, 550 miles close.

325 days to go

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today, we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
     —Speaking at Iowa Western Community College; Council Bluffs, IA; January 21, 2000

And they know that we're here even though they might think we don't know who they are...