234 days to go

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
     —As quoted by Reuters; May 5, 2000

As scary as it is, this is the method of reasoning that got us into the mess we're in now.

235 days to go

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that differences is they pass the laws and I execute them."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2000

I execute 'em.

236 days to go

"The march to war affected the people's confidence. It's hard to make investment. See, if you're a small-business owner or a large-business owner and you're thinking about investing, you've got to be optimistic when you invest. Except when you're marching to war, it's not a very optimistic thought, is it? In other words, it's the opposite of optimistic when you're thinking you're going to war."
     —Springfield, MO; February 9, 2004

War, it's a m-effer.

237 days to go

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the—the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."
     —Washington, D.C.; October 28, 2003

The truth comes out again. President Bush wants to kill all the Iraqis who want to live in a free world.

238 days to go

"If you're a younger person, you ought to be asking members of Congress and the United States Senate and the president what you intend to do about it. If you see a train wreck coming, you ought to be saying 'What are you going to do about it, Mr. Congressman, or Madam Congressman?'"
     —Detroit, MI; February 8, 2005

239 days to go

"Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house—he's lost his entire house—there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."
     —Mobile, AL; September 2, 2005

240 days to go

"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."
     —St. Louis, MO; October 18, 2000

241 days to go

Bush: I talked to my little brother, Jeb—I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of—I shouldn't call him my little brother—my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas.
Jim Lehrer: Florida.
Bush: Florida. The state of Florida.
     —Appearing on The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer; April 27, 2000

Simply amazing that this moron was selected President...

242 days to go

"If he's—the inferences is that somehow he thinks slavery is a, is a noble institution—I would—I would strongly reject that assumption. That John Ashcroft is an open-minded, inclusive person."
     —Interview with Tom Brokaw; NBC Nightly News; January 15, 2001

243 days to go

"The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them."
     —From A Charge to Keep, by George W. Bush, published November 1999

Months?? Really.

244 days to go

"There's not going to be enough people in the system to take advantage of people like me."
     —On the coming Social Security crisis; Wilton, CT; June 9, 2000

245 days to go

"The best place for the facts to be done is by somebody who's spending time investigating it."
     —Expressing hope that the probe into how CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity was leaked will yield answers; Washington, D.C.; July 18, 2005

Git 'er done.

246 days to go

"We can come together to heal whatever wounds may exist, whatever residuals there may be."
     —Washington, D.C.; December 18, 2000

247 days to go

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
     —Austin, TX; December 20, 2000

Hemispheric and atmospheric are all really the same. Aren't they?? Duh.

248 days to go

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
     —Announcing the "Reading First" initiative; Reston, VA; March 28, 2000

Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic.

249 days to go

"That's why I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental—supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel."
     —Erie, PA; September 2, 2004

Deftly displaying his understanding of war.

250 days to go

"I'll be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie. I've heard about it. I hope you go—you know—I hope you go back to the ranch and the farm is what I'm about to say."
     —Explaining that he hasn't yet seen Brokeback Mountain; Manhattan, KS; January 23, 2006

The evasive answer is either a confirmation that Dubya has in fact seen the movie or that he is truly an idiot.

251 days to go

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
     —Orlando, FL; September 12, 2000

Somebody has been dipping into the Rx bottle...

252 days to go

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
     —Speaking about terrorists; Portsmouth, NH; November 1, 2002

253 days to go

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again."
     —Waco, TX; August 13, 2002

Let's do those tough times again!

254 days to go

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the—in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."
     —Crawford, TX; August 13, 2001

Finally, a glimpse of the truth.

255 days to go

"Other Republican candidates may retort to personal attacks and negative ads."
     —Fund-raising letter from George W. Bush; as quoted in The Washington Post; March 24, 2000

He didn't just think it, he wrote it down!

256 days to go

"This is a nation that loves our freedom, loves our country."
     —Washington, D.C.; May 17, 2002

257 days to go

"If you found somebody that had information about an attack on America, you'd want to know as best as we can to find out what the facts are."
     —Philadelphia, PA; December 12, 2005

258 days to go

"I think he needs to stand up and say if he thought the president were wrong on policy and issues, he ought to say where."
     —Interview with The Associated Press; August 11, 2000

259 days to go

"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
     —Referring to the wife of Colin Powell; Washington, D.C.; January 30, 2003

That's alright, Barbara Bush was often referred to as the mother of Bush 41.

260 days to go

"They can get in line like those who have been here legally and have been working to become a citizenship in a legal manner."
     —Referring to immigrant workers; Washington, D.C.; December 20, 2004

¿Qué dijo?

261 days to go

"Bit if you've been laid off work, you're 100 percent unemployed, and I worry about it."
     —Green Bay, WI; September 3, 2001

Whew, I'm glad we've got Dubya on the job! If he's worrying about it, then something is gettin' done.

262 days to go

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have—he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
     —Florence, SC; February 17, 2000

OK...

263 days to go

"But Iraq has—have got people there that are willing to kill, and they're hard-nosed killers. And we will work with the Iraqis to secure their future."
     —Washington, D.C.; April 28, 2005

264 days to go

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked."
     —Answering a question about why he hasn't spent more time in New Hampshire; The New York Times; October 23, 1999

I too prefer my martinis shaken.